" A Freedom to Come "


Just watched City of Angels. Never thought that it's not a bad movie after all, though still, it's just a cliche and typical movie like other Holywood's love story. In the other hand, I don't see any progression of Meg Ryan's acting, as she plays innocent and somehow really boring acting almost in her movies (just like Cameron Diaz). So, the typical acting of Ryan, has really turn me off to see the movie, though there's Nicholas Cage playing with her.

I didn't see the whole story from the beginning, just when Cage was about to change his 'identity' from an Angel to a man. But some thing drew my attention, triggered by the limited scenes I've followed.

First, the visualisation, the detail and unusual angles (especially the scene of raindrops when Cage was at the grave...so damn beautiful!), and the location where the picture's being taken, was perfect to me. Though I don't really like the absurd love story idea, I let myself 'dive' each character to feel what if it does really happen in a real world.

Second, when Ryan's died and Cage couldn't take the decision God's made, I'm thinking, what if there's really an Angel who intend to be human instead? How would he feel and react to the change happens to his body, soul, and mind? Does he feel sorry when he could feel hurt, pain or misery when he lost one he loves (no argue for the love, passion, and happiness feeling that he might like), and all the natural thing that he never felt before? What creature he'd think more lucky, being an Angel or human instead? (The other thought crossed my mind - maybe that's why Angels created without a feeling like human, because he must be complain (like human certainly does!) and feel regret to the creation idea, rather than devote his destined life to The Creator.

Third, when I saw one screen where Ryan drove her bicycle in the highway with her hands freely touch the sky, close her eyes, and breath the air, it seems that I can feel her freedom. Such a feeling that I'm dying to have. A feeling about not to worry you'd die hit by the car, sinked in a deep ocean, or fall over when you're in the height. A freedom to feel freedom. Without pain, misery, or other weakness we naturally have.

To find how the real freedom would be like, supposedly when we're no longer live in this planet. When the time is up for us to breath freedom at this world, then move to another freedom called eternity. I myself so damn anxious to wait for the moment to come, when there's no pain, no limit, no worry to anything that constantly happen in this tiny world. I sometimes ask God to let me be a bird 'someday', so I could fly over the mountains without worry to fall over, or be a fish to dive deep oceans without worry there'd be some predators waiting for me, or to be whatever I want to be. Maybe later in heaven, when the time is come, when there's no word for limitation.

Fourth, when Ryan feels 'someone' is coming, was about to pick her up and bring her to heaven, I'm thinking, what it'd feel like, when the time is come. When your time is up and about to leave everything you have in the world. I don't know what kind of person I'd be at the time is coming, but right now I think, I must be anxious to know how the Angel would look like for the first time, greeting and smile at him, passing over to the other world and then wait in queue to have a chance to meet Him. I can't wait to bring the love, all love I have, and take responsibility to any mistakes I've done before. Whatever it is, I'm ready to take it.

Ok, bla, bla, bla, whatever, don't listen to me, I'm mumbling again.

Quite scary, huh? Well, blame the City of Angels' script writers then! ;)