I feel totally so lonely tonight. I thought I could be strong going through this phase and dealing with the silence. But the uncertainty how to do rightly, anger or acceptance, only makes me feel solitude even more. The crowd, the noise, the mess, and with all thing take place, doesn't effect me much. I'm just quiet, helpless.

I know it's not wrong to condemn. But I'm trying not to be. I can control myself, and I don't want something outside me control my consciousness. I'd be able to handle it as I did before.

I know there's no answer to every question. And there's so many reason not to tell the reason. Ada banyak alasan untuk tidak memberikan alasan. I understand it quite well...however, I need it pretty bad.

Just give me one last chance to know the reason.